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Cell Phones
By Eric Girold
Listen, fellows ! There's a big secret I'm gonna reveal to your amazed brains : you don't need a cell phone because there are so many dullards among your close friends or even relatives that have got one ! A cell phone, that is. For a brain, it's another problem altogether. Isn't that the coolest bit of news since the invention of the wheel ? It is. Because nowadays, the need to smoke ordinary tobacco has been replaced by that of talking nonsense to anybody, just to have a proof of your arguable existence on this here nasty planet. So now it's no longer 'Bum a smoke ?', but 'Bum a call ?'And in the process you save lots of money, make a friend feel good because he/she thinks he/she is doing a good deed and you can have your fix of stupidity with retards hooked on so-called 'communication' or 'social sharing' like you are. You can even surf the web and take photos of your acne-ridden face with the new generation of pocket phones. YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING WORTH THE SAYING BUT YOU WANT THE WHOLE PITIFUL WORLD OF YOUR HATEFUL CLOSARDS (meaning the human nitwits you interact with) KNOW YOU'RE A KING OF THE KEYBOARD. AND MAKING SPELLING ERRORS IN THE PROCESS. I am allergic to phones. Even the non-movable ones. They give me rash. My momma does not live far from my place, neither does my sista. Hence we, my momma, sista and I have devised a very convenient system. You first buy yogurt by the six-pack, like Budweiser (any flavour, I am partial to strawberry, but you can have your pick). Then you bore a tiny hole at the bottom of the container (preferably emptied before, because sound does not travel well through yogurt), then you insert a fishing string which end you tie to a match. Do this with the other receivers. Lo, behold ! You've got nice yogphones, is what you got. No electrical waves will fry your non-existent brain. So smile. |
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LOL...good way of putting it. People on cell phones drive me crazy, especially when they're driving down the street with their cell phone stuck to their ear, and not paying attention.
It's actually impossible to have a face-to-face meeting with people nowadays, because every two minutes someone's cellphone is going off with a call or text message, interrupting you in mid-flow, unless of course neither party has a cellphone, which doesn't ever happen because you can't arrange any meeting without cellpones, since people are constantly texting each other to change the time and/or the venue. Man, don't get me started about cellphones. 
 | | nick Oct 13, 2008 08:41 | |
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